Just When you think its safe...

You read about another soldier dying. Or you watch a sad movie.

I know I have blogged a bit about the Army and my fears... and if you're tired of that then you should probably stop reading now. But there are a few things that I feel compelled to say.

The day I met Brandon, I knew that he was something special. The feelings we had for each other were almost instant. I never thought back then that over a year later we'd be considering life in the Army again. He always said he was done with it. I think I knew all along that wasn't true. I pushed the thoughts aside.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of questions and fears and happiness... But most of all they have been filled with Pride.

The more I watch and read and think about everything that could happen, the more freaked out I get. But at the same time I earn more and more respect for people serving in our military. I have spoken to my family and friends and people around me about him re-enlisting. Some were supportive. Some were completely against it. Some were indifferent.

I have been asked a lot of questions about how I feel.
Aren't you scared?
Are you mad?
What about when you move?
Do you think he should be doing this?
I wouldn't want my husband going overseas...
I wouldn't let Ray do that...

I want to say this now...
No matter how scared I am, not matter how hard it will be, I will be here supporting the love of my life throughout this. I know things are going to get hard. I know I will be scared, sad, worried, lonely, and maybe mad sometimes too. This is not something I "let" him do but something we both believe in. But I also know that I will be so proud of him.

I am terrified of the idea of him being deployed. I am terrified that the stories I hear about or read about men and women dying for our country will no longer just be stories. I am very scared of a lot of things. But I will also take peace in knowing that if God wants him he will take him.

I hear a lot of people bashing our military and those who serve it. I hear people complain about the war and how we shouldn't be there. But what I don't hear is those people saying "Those men and women are doing what I don't have the guts to do." Because when it comes down to it... thats really what a lot of people should be saying. Some people speak out of jealousy and some truly do not believe in what our country is doing. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I myself tend to voice mine... So for anyone else who wants to question my decision to support my fiance and the Army, just know that I am proud. Nothing will change that.