Well Parenting isn't for everyone

So I have obviously been M.I.A. Not that there are so many of you that it is a big deal but still...

Anyways, my life has been a little more than hectic. Almost chaotic but not over the top yet...
With our wedding about 3 months away and almost NOTHING done *ok thats not true but I still feel like that* and everything else to deal with, I just felt overwhelmed.

I found out my Maid of Honor is going to be 6 months pregnant at my wedding. I had to track down and beat my sister to death to get her to comply and buy a dress. And I am starting school in July. All of this happened with the blink of an eye.

I have been working more than usual at work and spending less time with my baby boy so he is acting out (or at least thats what I am blaming his rambunctious behavior on). He has become this screaming little banshee that runs around acting like a nutjob from the 4th floor at the local hospital (thats where they keep our crazies). Now not only do I get to get showers and baths with toys floating around I also find cups, plates, a hair brush, a house key, and some other object that undoubtedly came from something important, in my tub. I have more sip cups than I am even sure what to do with and my little technician has managed to take them apart and lose the little plastic/rubber thing that goes in the lid to keep them from leaking... We are potty training because he hates wearing a diaper but he refuses to use his potty for anything other than dumping said sip cups into the little bucket thingy. I came in to find that he had a nice combination of milk and apple juice waiting for me. MMM yummy!

I had to fire my babysitter because well... She just wasn't cut out for the job. She was a great friend of mine but after she gave birth to her little girl she must have lost her mind. And while I am very sympathetic to new parents because I know that it is difficult, I will not allow someone to hit my child. NO ONE! NOT. EVEN. ME! So needless to say when I got to anonymous reports from different people of her spanking him for wanting to take a nap... I let her go. I handled myself pretty well considering. I did not accuse her of it I asked her about it. She told me that yes in fact she had spanked him because he wanted to go to his crib to take a nap and since she wasn't ready to put her baby down she wouldn't allow him and when he got mad she spanked him. I asked if he had done something out of anger that required a spanking she said no he just whined (which toddlers do just look here for proof!). I told her that I do not parent my son by spanking him and therefor she should not either. Her response... Well parenting isn't for everyone now is it? Are you f-ing kidding me? I mean really?!

I told her to leave and now am one friend less. I can't believe that some people really think it is ok to hit a child... I mean HIT a child. She admitted it and didn't even seem phased by the fact that I was clearly pissed. I found out that she had also been smacking his hands when he used his fingers to push food on his fork. FOR HEAVENS SAKE HE IS 19 MONTHS OLD!!!!!!!! He has no idea how to properly use a fork. He is learning. He does a great job but still he needs some help with things like spaghetti noodles. I mean DANG! I am 23 years old and still have to use my finger sometimes!!!! The day that it all happened he literally had a mental break down. He was crying and freaking out all day and everytime I tried to do anything he was attached to my hip. So I knew that he was going through some weird stuff.

It broke my heart knowing that I had subjected my baby to that. I should have known better. I couldn't have because she was a great friend and a great stepmom to her stepson or at least I thought... Apparently I was wrong about that. And her....

Right now my brother is watching him for me. Jonathan loves his uncle so much and is doing well considering. It doesnt make it suck any less.

Finally 20 months later!

My friend finally sent me my maternity photos... she was a bit of a slacker don't you think?

And thank you for the Wonderful news!

I'll start by saying that yesterday was a rough day. Simple as that.

Brandon and I were on two different roads with everything. Jonathan was grouchy. I felt out of sorts and I was just beat.

I wake up this morning more tired than usual and get to work. Everything is normal at first. I called my doctor to schedule my annual OBGYN appointment (oh man i really love the people at THAT clinic *total sarcasm*) Anyways the nurse says "When was your last menstrual period?"

I look at my calendar and tell her "April 6th." She says "Uhh you do realize you are 23 days late right?" Me "Well yes but thats because I was on birth control and stopped taking it because I couldn't get rid of my migraines." Her:"Ok hold on I am going to get the doctor."

Doctor:"Hi shay how are you? How is Jonathan?"
Me:"We're good now what do you want?"
D:"Well since you haven't had your period in over a month going on two I'd like to ask a few questions."
ME:"I knew I shouldn't have called." and I laugh nervously.
D:" Have you been experiencing any odd symptoms like nausea, are you dizzy, fatigued, irritable, have you had heartburn or frequent urination."
Me:"Well yea, I mean I have a son and from what I hear they can also be the cause of dizziness(SP?) and fatigue and I am pretty sure the lack of any personal time can cause irritability. I mean for gods sake I went to get a hot bath and a freakin t-rex toy attacked me. I'm pretty sure he was trying to eat me!. And Heartburn well I don't know where the H that came from but it hasn't gone away in 2 weeks so yea."

D: Laughing at me at this point because as he said the t-rex cracked him up... Tells me "I think you should take a pregnancy test. If you would like to wait just wait until Tuesday and we will do it here."

Me:" Well alright then! You know you'd think after 26 months of dealing with you I would find you to be a little more comforting. but you aren't. you kind of suck at the comforting part."

D:"HAHA. I am going to take that as a compliment. No I want you to relax and rest. the nurse told me you have been being weak and not feeling a hundred percent. Are you eating right and sleeping ok?"

Me:"Do you really have to ask questions with obvious answers?"
D:"Ok I will see you tuesday."
Me:"Thanks for the wonderful news!"

Now just a little back ground info. this doctor is the same doctor who delivered Jonathan and who put me on bed rest at 27 weeks. And who loved picking on me whenever given the chance. So he understands my sarcasm and I understand his urge to irritate me. But seriously... lol

So until tuesday I will be freaking out about whether or not I am carrying a baby bean in me and now also freaking out about why my P hasn't shown up since April. I mean that Aunt flo can be a real biatch! I know that getting off of birth control could have cause it to take a vacay. But the fact that the Dr is freaking me out isn't helping.

Well thats what you get...

When faced with an old friend from high school my ex decided it was a good idea to tell her that he and I had broken up. She informed him that she had forgotten all about that we had even dated. So when she asked why we had broken up his response was "Well I cheated on her and she left me. Now she is getting married to another guy and she is really happy. But it sucks for me because I get to watch the person I love, marry someone else."

Her response was "Well thats what you get... What the hell did you think was going to happen?"

I don't know what that was so funny to me but it was. I guess she wasn't going to sympathize for him because she knew he deserved it.

Who are you again?

Friday was to say the least the second worst day of my life as a mom. Jonathan had surgery to relieve him of the cysts that were developing on his ear drum (the first was when he got RSV at 2 months old since he was a preemie).

First I wasn't allowed to feed my tyke after midnight and since I woke him up before the butt crack of dawn he was not a happy camper. So we make our trip to the surgical center to be there by 6:30am. We got there got him checked in. And then sat in the waiting room where he was tortured by other people sipping on their drinks and eating their morning snacks. Ok so they weren't doing it on purpose but still explain to a 19 month old why he can't eat and everyone else can. So anyways, we were called in pretty quickly to go over the routine with the nurse. She gave him some tylenol and put him in a little hospital gown and proceeded to hand me what i call a bubble suit. Then we were sent to the "play room" to wait until his doctor was ready. When the nurse came to call us up I was ready (or so I thought) they told me to put my cap on and then we were headed to the room where they were going to put him under. As soon as Jonathan saw a nurse with a mask on he freaked out. He started bawling which of course made me feel like Sh*t because well its my baby and I don't want to see him scared. One nurse said "Oh hes fine they all cry, its not a big deal." in a tone that made me want to snatch her up by her frizzy red hair that was peeking under her cap. I looked at her and said "Who are you again?"

Her reply was... "I am betty, I will be scrubbing the doctor before he performs the surgery. We are all here for your son"

Me:" Well Betty, I am sure you have been doing this for some time, but me well I have not. So excuse me for comforting my crying baby who happens to be terrified. But you're right all the other children have done this too and I should be comforted by that. Thanks."

Betty: "I just meant that he is ok yea hes scared but he will not even remember once we put him under"
Im sure at this point my look gave her the idea to shut the hell up but just to be safe I said
"Oh because THAT made me feel SO much better! Who hires people like you? think about who you are talking to and what you are saying for heavens sake... I am his mother, he is crying, and excuse me for being a little freaked out!"

I apologized for snapping and she said she understood. Im not sure she did but either way... Who the hell is she to tell me not to care that my son is freaking out. Anyways... his surgery went well and he is good to go now. Friday was a quiet day he was groggy and slept a lot. Saturday he was back to climbing on tables and jumping off the couch.

So there ya go!

I was sitting in my living room last night with Jonathan and my fiance. My little brother (he's thirteen but 3 times my size I swear) We were all discussing dinner and it got a little loud. I am the one who usually says "Calm down" to anyone who is getting loud or out of control.

Well last night Jonathan looked at us and said "momma say calm down!" Brandon and I were floored because well Jonathan is just learning to talk. He has a few words he says all the time ...
Bob, Momma, Dad, hi, no, blank (blankey), food, cup, bath, bad, bub, Debb, sid, dog, car, ball, cat, bed, nap, i love and you all seperately of course, I want, up. toy. So those are the ones we are used to... but when he got tired of hearing us he said "Momma say calm down." I thought I was gonna pass out.

When people are talking to much for him he walks over and pats them on their leg and puts his finger to his mouth.

Kids grow up too quick.

Perfectly Imperfect Mom

I am a perfectly imperfect mother...

I don't always give in when my child cries
I don't always make him eat the healthiest foods.
Sometimes I let him snack on junk food.
Sometimes he wears his shorts backwards because he puts them on that way.
He doesn't always listen.
I didn't read all the baby books out there
He did sleep with a binky until he was 16 months
I do tell him no
Sometimes I get frustrated
Sometimes I would like to run away screaming
I do like to get a hot bath without baby toys floating around me
Sometimes he stays up late with me
He does get to watch cartoons in the morning
And he has had a drink of Soda.... So that makes me imperfect
I don't know what Im doing all the time
I get confused about a lot of things with him
I freak out when he spikes a fever
Sometimes I hold him for a long time after he falls asleep just because I can
This all makes me an imperfect mother

But I also know every freckly on his little body
I know his favorite blanket and his favorite toy
I will sit an read his favorite book 15 times or more a day just because he wants to
I do bail out on my friends sometimes just to spend more time with him.
I melt when he hugs me and gives me sloppy kisses
I cry when I think I hurt his feelings or when I leave for work and he cries
I spoil him rotten with love and attention
I teach him about God and Jesus and how they love him and he should love them
He knows right from wrong

So I would rather be perfectly imperfect that a text book mother. I would rather spend everyday holding my son and hearing him giggle than be worried that I didn't follow what it says in the "What to expect in the first year books" I take pride in every little babbled coo or word no matter if he is saying what I think he is or not. I do not mind pulling out a toy or sipcup or anything that he stuffs in my purse for that matter. I have more often than not pulled out a binky from my coat pockets that he has placed in there almost as if to say "here mom have a bink on me" (get it... have a drink on me lol okok Im a dork) I love my son more than life itself and I know there is nothing wrong with that... I take pride in being perfectly imperfect.